As the title suggests, today I am going to teach you how to ride the buses in Thessaloniki like a commuting pro.

This is my "It's So Stinking Hot on This Bus and We are Packed Like Sardines" face
This is my “It’s So Stinking Hot on This Bus and We are Packed Like Sardines” face

As my Grecian Summer comes to an end, I have had the pleasure of learning the subtleties of the Greek culture,  and most of my knowledge has been picked up on my 40 minute commute to and from work every day. Here is what I have learned (the hard way):

1. Don’t enter through the front doors, for some reason the drivers hate when you do that.

2. Give you seat up for the old women.

3. But, make sure these women are feeble enough to need a seat. It’s not cool insulting a middle aged woman if you think she needs a seat and she thinks she does not.

4. Apparently it is frowned upon to eat on the bus…

5. Make the sign of the cross three times whenever you pass a religious monument.

6. No matter how loud they are with their smooching noises, ignore the sexually charged teenagers making out next to you.

7. Remember: He might be cute, but he will catch you trying to take a photo of him….

collage 2

8. If seats have been vacated and you are standing, you must wait until all of the older riders have taken a seat.

9. If there are older riders who decide they would rather stand, you still may not take any of the empty seats in case they decide they might want to sit at any point during the commute.

collage 1

10. Wearing deodorant is a great idea especially when it’s 95 degrees on the unairconditioned bus and you have to hold onto the bar above your head for support. The girl who is short enough to have her nose in your armpit for 40 minutes will thank you.

Low key packed full bus.
Low key packed full bus.

11. God forbid the drivers carefully step on the gas or ease on the break. So hold on for dear life.

12. If the driver is warm, he might drive the entire route (mostly highway driving) with the front doors open. In that case, really hold on cause nothing can save you now.

13. Similar to the book “If you Give a Mouse a Cookie…” if you give an elderly person a child to sit next to, you will absolutely make their day and this child will become another grandchild to them for the next twenty minutes and it is the sweetest thing to watch.

These two met five minutes before I took the photo!
These two met five minutes before I took the photo!

So there you have it! Now you all are pros, like me.

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